Moving can be a stressful ordeal, but when you are an adult child moving your senior parent from one home to another, there is an added layer of complexity.
Who will lead the charge on downsizing? Who will coordinate an estate sale? Who will deal with the sale of the home? More importantly, who will make sure that mom and/or dad and their lifetime of possessions are being treated with respect and dignity? The National Association of Senior Move Managers is the answer.
Since time is the rarest commodity and the lack of it can cause oversight on moving your aging parent with dignity, Buysse offers the following reasons that hiring a Senior Move Manager is beneficial.
1. Eliminate the potential for exploitation of seniors.
With baby boomers turning 65 at the rate of 10K per day, this huge population of 79 million people is going to attract a lot of people to aging services. At NASMM, they have only the best and brightest in the industry to follow a strict code of ethics. These ethics serve as speed bumps and stop gaps to ensure only people who are capable and compassionate enough enter a profession that is both physically and mentally tasking.
“It’s very difficult work,” shares Buysse. “We’re dealing with people who are frail, people who have memory loss, people who have suffered a great deal of loss – loss of spouse a best friend, driving privilege and loss of hearing or sight. This is not for the faint of heart. This is difficult work, but, is absolutely the most gratifying work.”
NASMM members must maintain high standards and follow a strict code of ethics. Along with accreditation, NASMM offers its members self-study training and must have two letters of recommendation. Members must also have general liability insurance, take classes in ethics and safety, and provide a signed contract to protect both the move manager and the senior’s irreplaceable items like photos.
2. Downsize your aging parent’s home in an organized and dignified manner.
Before senior move management existed, the way a senior was moved out of their home that they lived in for 30, 40 or 50 years was done very expediently. Often over a weekend, adult children would fly in and only be able to give a few days to the move and order a dumpster to be parked in the driveway. That home that took 40 or 50 years to build was downsized in 48 hours, buy adult children who hadn’t lived in it for 25 years.
Senior Move Managers acknowledge the time it took to accumulate the lifetime of possessions, so they take the time to go through everything with the senior parent, whether it takes weeks or months. Even if no move is involved at all and the senior needs help downsizing clutter in their home, the move managers will do all of the same things as if they were moving through a program called NASSM@HOME.
3. The aging parent feels in control of the moving process.
Roughly 50 per cent of seniors that NASMM moves are into a congregate living community, including assisted living, independent living and memory care. Sometimes, it is a senior moving in with an adult child, or a senior apartment that’s in a multigenerational building that is in the middle of town. If it’s a really independent senior, sometimes it is two older women who are sisters where both have lost their husbands and have decided to move in together.
Wherever the senior is making the move to, it’s important to ensure that they feel in control of the move. “It’s a win-win situation because the older adult feels like the have directed the move,” says Buysse. “They don’t feel like they are being placed somewhere, instead, they feel like they are choosing to live somewhere else.”
4. Move managers are often like a general contractor.
Often an older woman, the Senior Move Managers come from a variety of backgrounds from retired nurses, retired marketing professionals and even those who were in information technology. Teachers can often retire with their full pension by 50 or 55, so NASMM has a lot of retired teachers as members.
NASMM Senior Move Managers moved over 75,000 seniors last year and expect to move around 100,000 seniors this year. Since it took many years for seniors to accumulate their lifetime of possessions, the move managers will work with the older adult for weeks, sometimes months, prior to the move and go through everything to determine what can be repurposed, recycled and sold. “There’s a lot of options and the dumpster is the last resort,” says Buysse.
The move manager will take digital photos of the entire content of the house and place them on a protective card of her website and send a link to all the family members around the country so that the family can also weigh in on what should be done, and arrange shipment or storage of goods until a decision is made.
The move manger will connect the family with an estate sale expert, or sometimes even conducts the estate sale themselves. They will also help with placing the home up for sale through realtors in their network and arrange for moving and cleaning services. Anything that is donated, the move manager ensures that the donations are documented and tax deductible.
NASMM works with Habitat for Humanity and Move for Hunger, and the move manager determines what can be donated and repurposed for another family. “Using a move manager is not very expensive as much of the move can be paid for by a sale of goods or a tax deduction of goods,” says Buysse.
5. Eliminate stress on the family.
A Senior Move Manager helps make the transition to a new home smoother for the entire family, especially the senior, as they will feel like they chose it. “Families often have a lot of emotional baggage,” says Buysse. “There’s a lot of history, and some of it is not the best history. So, when an adult child is not really a close confidant of the parent, or a caregiver of the parent, they might create more friction at a time when families really need each other.”
By having an expert manage the move, it helps take away a lot of stress for everyone involved, help to keep families from fighting about what is best for Mom or Dad, and ensures that the best interest of the senior is being kept in focus.
6. Move managers have useful tricks-of-the-trade up their sleeves.
Because Senior Move Managers are moving seniors daily, “they have all kinds of creative tools at their fingertips, things you or I would never even think of,” says Buysse.
Buysse shares an example of a move manager working with a woman in her 80s. She had been an executive’s wife – her husband had been the CEO of a small company – and she had done a lot of international travel. During her travels, the 80-year-old had acquired a large collection of teapots, 85 of them in total.
“She was absolutely despondent over the fact that this move could mean for the first time in 50 years that those teapots would not be with her,” says Buysse. “She was moving from 5,000 square feet to 500 square feet.”
The move manager suggested that the senior woman select her top three favorite teapots to take with her to her new home to place into her dinette cabinet in her new assisted living apartment. Then, the move manager took digital photos of the other 82 teapots, had a poster made at Walgreens for $20, and had it framed at a framing store for another $50. All of the beautiful teapots the senior woman had collected all these years could now live on as artwork to hang in her dinette to look at every day and share with people where she got each one.
“These are the thoughtful kinds of things that an expert who is moving seniors every day does versus a family member will do this either once or twice in their lifetime,” says Buysse. “That is the difference they make.”